In Defence of Buffer Years

I am very close to that moment at the airport when you have to say a hard goodbye and the bludgeoning reality hits: your life is about to change quite dramatically.

I have been putting off thinking of this and mostly visualising my future year abroad when I have settled. When I have a gorgeous cast of international friends, I have a little Japanese under my belt and I’ve found my favourite sushi restaurant. When people ask me, what has drawn you to Japan I cite a vision like this, a fascinating opportunity that I couldn’t say no to. But I am often stumped by my friends and family’s conviction that ‘You’re so brave!’. I am reminded that this is going to be big, and for a while, probably an uncomfortable experience. Then I don’t feel brave, I feel positively timid and question why I am throwing myself halfway across the planet (into the deep end)?

I wanted to reassure myself and the world that there are very good reasons for taking a (week, a month or) year out: of study, of work, of general mundane life and buffering for a bit. Because that’s what I’m doing, buffering. I’ve always been sceptical of gap years, of finding yourself amongst the elephants in Thailand of reaching nirvana on top of some Peruvian plateau. However, I’d like to revise my prejudice and defend the cliché!

I think people deserve to spend time being thoughtful and not marching through life on auto-pilot. I also think that a broad range of experiences makes for a resilient temperament and an open mind. I don’t believe anyone must decide their destiny on the spot, and that whatever your interests are cannot change. Giving yourself room to grow ain’t a crime, it’s a privilege! The fact that I have been lucky enough to access this opportunity is not wasted upon me.

So, the start of my twenties marks a new epoch, I am the most confident and balanced version of myself I have been to date, and I want to take this gigantic terrifying step into the unknown as a celebration of this. A testament to myself that I am able to cope with turbulence and disruption to my comfort zone, which by virtue of being an introvert is pretty small. I am gifting myself some struggle, some challenge because I deserve to see it through.

And what better place to be brave and to buffer but such a beautiful, interesting land as Japan. I can’t bloody wait.